Sunday, September 02, 2012

The Kids Started School! The Perfect Time For Me To Get Sick!


So the kids started school! Archer started 3rd grade and Della started preschool all day everyday. Big changes around here. I have taken care of Della for 5 and a half years. And by "taken care of", I mean at least 5 appointments a week for the past 2 years and various stages of busy before that. It's been an intense time in my life and in many ways, it's over now. So after everyone got on the bus,  I cried (sobbed) for 5 minutes (10 minutes) and then I thought "Now what?"



Also, Della's super cool EZ Rider wheelchair/stroller was delivered last week. She makes us push her around the downstairs in it...


So I'm sick. It started a few months ago when I would get a searing but brief pain in my teeth. I figured it was a cavity. The pain became more frequent. I figured it was two cavities and maybe I was grinding at night. Then Monday came around. I had the most excruciating pain I have ever felt on the entire left side of my face. I don't think you understand. I'm saying it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. When I had an "attack" I would literally have to stop what I was doing and huddle into a ball as I prayed for it to stop or for me to just die. I get goosebumps just thinking about it (not in a good way). I saw a Neurologist who said I had Trigeminal Neuralgia, which meant my Trigeminal cranial nerve which runs along the side of the face, was being pinched. She prescribed something for the pain and scheduled an MRI to see what was pinching it. The pharmacy didn't have my meds ready when I stopped by, so I went home to meet the kids and asked Chad to pick them up for me. By the time he got home I was out-of-my-mind with pain! I was pacing and crying and otherwise freaking out. I would have paid a dentist to pull out all of my teeth with no anesthesia if it would stop the pain. It's gotten better since the meds. Let's just say my pupils are perpetually dilated and I spend the day feeling "floaty".


So now I wait for my MRI (9/4/2012) to figure out what is next. Until then I stay on my medication and avoid activities like driving or anything else that requires a lot of concentration (even now, my eyes hurt with the effort it is taking to type, so please ignore any typos or rambling). It's also hard for me to read, text, and it's painful to talk. So I sit at home. Alone. Doing not a whole lot.

I really really really hope it's not a tumor for obvious reasons. There are a slew of different causes, none of them particularly pleasant. If you would like to know more, you can read about it on Wikipedia. I'm warning you, it's harsh. I did notice that TN's nickname is "The Suicide Disease". I had just said to Chad that if I had lived 100 years ago I would either be a drunk or I would have thrown myself in front of a speeding wagon. Was that even funny? See what this condition has turned my sense of humor into?

Speaking of which, here are a few gems I have come up with while on the drugs:

-After waking up from 3 hour nap: "I should go to Hobby Lobby right now and but 30 faux succulent plants. They would look so nice all over my house! And I could give some out to the neighbors."

-Friend: Well, maybe you should avoid situations where you might volunteer for something you would regret later, like being in charge of the ward Christmas Party.
Me: Yeah! Or getting pregnant!
Friend: Or that too...
Me: And then naming the kid Vicodin! Or if they were twins, Butter and Cake! My two favorite things!
Friend: I think you should go back to sleep.

-Waking up this morning: "I think I have developed a special sense where I can feel actual germs on my feet. I could totally be one of the Avengers."

-Waking up yesterday: "I'm 99% sure I have disproved Napier's Constant. I'm going to make so much money!"

-The phone rings waking me up from a stupor on the couch: "I knew they would call me back! "Masterpiece Theatre" totally needs a middle-aged cast member with not so great skin and a shrill voice!"

-Sometime on Thursday: "I just controlled TiVO with my mind!" Turns out I was sitting on the remote.

Well, it's time for another pill. Until it kicks in I am going to continue working on my NY Times Crossword Puzzle. It's weird because I can usually finish one in 15-20 minutes. I've been working on this one for an hour and 45 minutes. So if anyone could help me with a 6-letter word that starts with "M" and ends in "EY" let me know. The clue is "A famous mouse who made his debut in 1928". This one is a toughie!