Thursday, April 29, 2010

Archer! What Happened To Your Face!?!

Archer walks out of his room Tuesday morning and his nose has a big scab on it...
Me: Archer! What happened to your face!?!
Archer: What?
Me: Your nose is all scabbed over!
Archer: It is?
Me: Yes, it looks like a rug burn.
Archer: What is a rug burn?
Me: (I explain what rug burn is.)
Archer: No I don't think it was that.
Me: Then how did your nose get hurt? It happened after you went to bed because it wasn't there when we tucked you in last night.
Archer: I'm not really sure.

We have taught Archer that if he ever gets separated from us, to find an adult, preferably a "worker" (store employee) or a policeman, and to tell them that he is lost. He has taken this lesson to heart, perhaps even a little too much. If he can't find us for longer than 30 seconds, he immediately will tell someone he is lost. We recently went to a church picnic and I told Archer to stay in the playground area while I went and got us all some food. I pointed out 3 or 4 adults that he knew and told him to ask one of them for help if he needed it. I had been in the food line for maybe 5 minutes when my cell phone starts ringing. I didn't recognize the number and since I was about to load up on food, I didn't answer it. The mystery number called me 4 more times. I rushed to put my food down so I could answer it...
Me: (breathlessly) Hello?
Lady: Hello, Mrs. Calder?
Me: Yes, that's me.
Lady: My name is Carol and I have your lost son.
Me: Archer?
Carol: Yes, I am with him. I am sure you have been frantic looking for him.
Me: Uhhh....yeah....frantic...
Carol: Well we are standing over by the food table so why don't you come and meet us.
Me: I am at the food table.
Carol: You are?
I look around and see Archer standing next to "Carol" about 50 feet away.

He recently got "lost" at the Antique Rose Emporium. I had just taken a picture of him and less than 3 minutes later I hear a man yelling "Is there a Caitlin Calder here!" I look up, slightly shocked that someone is screaming my name, and I see a man who clearly works there standing with Archer about 20 yards away. Seriously! I already feel bad that I ignored my son's whereabouts long enough for him to feel lost plus I feel like whoever he has turned to for help is thinking I am the worst parent!

This happened again on Friday night at the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I am eating dinner and a woman wearing a "Staff" t-shirt comes up to Chad and me holding Archer's hand. Of course I know what is going on...
Staff Lady: Is this your son?
Me: Yes it is.
Staff Lady: (into walkie-talkie or whatever it's called) All units, we have found the child's mother I repeat we have found the child's mother.

She looked at me like I was some kind of jerk mom eating a piece of pizza while her son is lost and the entire staff is looking for him. Nice. I did find out later from a friend that Archer had bumped into her before reporting his status as missing...
Archer: Hey, I know you.
Jami: Yes, I am Carter's mom.
Archer: Oh, hi! Can I have a dollar?
Jami: No.

So not only does my child have unexplained injuries, he is also begging for money whenever he gets lost. Does he think that if he hasn't seen his parents in the last 2 minutes he is now on his own and must fend for himself in the world? Where would he get that idea?


Anonymous said...

Me: Stay by daddy and don't get lost
Tyler: Ok I will get lost and you will find me.

I love it! How funny Archer is!

Belle of the Blues said...

You are so funny. I love it when you tell stories, Caitlin.

Allison said...

These stories provided much comic relief at our house tonight. You are so funny at telling stories. I can just picture Archer getting "lost" everywhere.